Don’t you just hate it when things don’t go as quickly as you’d like? How many times would we like to rush to the finish line and have everything ready and waiting when we get there? Yet there are times when this simply cannot happen. We must wait. I am going through a time like that now. I feel I am having trouble with just about everything I touch. Sometimes, everything seems to crumble when I pick it up. Yesterday was one of those days. I had a source code error with my application and so I decided to restore it from backup. Seems simple enough, yet it set a flag that ended up deleting other data I had. In so doing it duplicated every single calendar and task entry I had. Ugh! If you’ve ever been through something like this you know what a pain it is. And that was just the tip of the iceberg…
What are the effects of such days on our lives? For me, I grind my teeth. I get a headache. And I tend to be less patient with people, I may want to get snappy with the kids or my wife, “kick the dog” as they used to say. Perhaps you exhibit similar behaviors and reactions.
So how do we deal with days when everything has “gone to the dogs?” When we feel like giving up?
Here is how I deal with my darker days:
First I do give up on the problem(s)… not for the long-term but instead for a day or perhaps two. I view stressful days like yesterday as a specific psychological reaction. It is a reaction to the mind not being ready or prepared to deal with such circumstances. You’ve heard the saying “sleep on it?” When things get rough and frustrating for me, I may not sleep on it per-se, but what I do do is I take a step back. Sit in a comfortable chair, read the newspaper, do something that gets my mind off of the immediate issue. I know that my mind will still work on it because that’s how creative minds work. They solve problems -especially when they’re told not to!
Sometimes all it takes is a walk around the block. Sometimes it takes something more aggressive — a vacation for instance. Have you ever taken an aggressive vacation? LOL desperate times require desperate measures! What I am getting at here is that hammering away a at a problem when you are tense, frustrated and ready to hang it up, does no good toward figuring your solution. By nature, the mind works best when relaxed. Patience is indeed a virtue.
The next thing to do is put things in perspective. This is some advice from my Mom that I think of often. Take your problem for instance – whatever it may be. Sure, you want it solved now – or by 5 p.m. today at the latest. Let’s project this situation to 20 years into the future. What if the you don’t solve your problem today? What if you don’t have a solution tomorrow but instead you get your answer the next day? How will you perceive today and tomorrow 20 years from now? What will people think of you 20 years from now knowing you took three days to solve a problem back in the year 2005? I hope your answer would be “I don’t think they would care very much”. So in a way, our immediate, most pressing problems oftentimes turn out to be nonsensical when we consider the big picture.
So my advice to you and my advice to me is to remember our breaks. Take them often and let the brain do its job.
